...God of War III (PS3)

Sorry I haven’t posted/finished more reviews. Things have been pretty hectic these past few months & writing hasn’t exactly been at the top of my list. A lot of things haven’t, actually. But it’s now summer, college is over until September so… here’s a new review for you! Hope you like.


One man's final search for solace... & a suntan.

I don’t know why I’ve never played the God of War games. For some reason they’ve simply failed to tickle my fancy; maybe the extreme violence that pretty much comes across as pointless never appealed to me. Or maybe I don’t just like red body paint. But after I saw videos of some of the simply awe-inspiring boss fights included, I just HAD to least rent the third & final main game in the series & have a go… I’m glad I did. I ended up buying it too.
God of War III sees perma-scowly-man’s-man Kratos still as angry as ever. His goal this time round is to kill dear old daddy Zeus again (when you read the stories, just how many kids did this bloke HAVE??? Randy sod.) simply because he’s still pissed off with him over his slavery etc, & the only way he can do this is to take out the remaining gods in his way & open Pandora’s Box to release the massive power locked within… again.

I'm sure he has a lovely smile.

Apart from the above paragraph, I wouldn’t say there’s a lot of plot here at all. It’s simply just a sequence of meeting characters from Greek mythology, then twatting them into next week that is trying to be passed off as a storyline The best way to describe it is that it’s one of those games that you can just go along with, not giving a badger’s ballsack about any of the characters whose heads you happen to rip off, quite literally in the case of sun god Helios. Yes, that’s right. Kratos decapitates the god of the SUN. Well done pal, plunging the world into darkness like that. Round of applause to you.
First off, it looks absolutely magnificent. The PS3’s graphics capabilities are pushed to the limit here & it pays dividends, delivering the gorgeous settings, detailed characters & fast-paced attacks all in lovely HD. I’d say in terms of visuals, it is very close to the mind-blowing quality of Final Fantasy XIII. The soundtrack is also very well done & definitely appropriate. In other words, it’s epic, loud & gives the feeling that during the cutscenes, you’re actually watching a sophisticated animated movie. The main theme in particular (the one that can be played on Guitar Hero) is brilliant.
The game starts with an almighty bang in the form of a humungous boss fight against Poseidon, who looks strangely like that Ardeth Bay bloke off the Mummy films. The fight itself is incredible, albeit a tutorial, both in scale & enjoyment. Travelling across the Titan Gaia’s body whilst slicing up numerous parts of Poseidon’s summoned body really got the heart racing. I found it a little unusual to start a game with such a wonderful, huge fight that sets a standard, but ho hum. Fingers crossed the rest of the game delivers.
And that it does. God of War III is practically non-stop action. I’d say this is a good way of summing the game up: fight after fight after fight, take a break with a quick puzzle, then another fight and then a boss fight. Repeat pattern. I’ve heard people complain that the combat in GoW is too simple, crammed with quick-time events. I can understand where they come from but I personally like the QTEs. They certainly keep the player on their toes & they don’t feel like they’ve just been thrown in at random a la Uncharted. Those are the kind that gives the QTEs the bad reputation they have.
The gameplay is fantastically simple & easy to learn; to kill enemies, basically press the square button as many times as possible with a few triangles thrown in. I like this type of combat within a game as it keeps looking at the controls to a minimum; no ridiculous button combos like the sort you find in beat-em-ups for example. I suppose you could argue it gets quite monotonous at times but this is tackled with new weapons and simple combos constantly being at your disposal.

GET OVER HERRRRRRE!!

Time for a negative now. There’s no proper character development that flows throughout the game, which means there isn’t really anybody you root for, even protagonist Kratos. In fact, he’s one of the most hateable main characters in a game I’ve come across (yes, even more than misery-guts Squall from Final Fantasy VIII). I know loads of people who love the muscle-bound nutter, but that’s my personal opinion. He is incredibly callous & doesn’t care who he kills, even innocent bystanders. There’s a little bit of empathy when he encounters Pandora but it isn’t enough for me to warm to him. I like the tormented smith god Hephaestus more (voiced by Rip “If you can dodge a wrench…” Torn). Sure, he has every reason to be a little peeved after having his family’s remains burned into his skin, but come on, it’s been five games now pal! Show even a little mercy!
In summary though, God of War III isn’t perfect, but is a tremendously enjoyable game with plenty of fun battles, amazing graphics & a thumping soundtrack. It also makes you feel a little better about yourself, weirdly. As you play through the game & hear backstory, you worry a little less about student finances & whatnot, as you start to think “At least I’m not Kratos!”
I give Kratos’ gorefest a whopping 9/10.

... Left 4 Dead 2 (PC)

A Shooter With More Bite...And Tongues...And Giant Wanking Arms



There comes a time in every person’s life when they just have to be honest with others, and for me that time is now... I can be an absolute pansy when it comes to horror-themed games. Ever since I played the first Silent Hill and Resident Evil 3 in the days of old, similar titles have never appealed to me. Completely steered clear of them actually. If I wanted to be intentionally scared out of my wits I’ll go watch Marilyn Manson, thank you very much. That changed around Christmastime however, when a friend gifted me Left 4 Dead 2 on Steam, after I mentioned I’d like to have a go at it with everyone who already had it. The fact that it’s also a first-person shooter, another type of game I’ve never liked, and that I actually ENJOY it is even more surprising. I’ve always thought of FPS games as “Here’s a gun or three. Shoot the baddies. Run. The end.”
And L4D2, which sort of sounds like R2D2’s socially incompetent brother, is pretty much just that. If it’s plot you’re looking for, you won’t find anything juicy here. You control one of four unlucky (and for the most part, likeable) sods like in the first game and fight your way through a seemingly infinite amount of ‘Infected’ (not taken from 28 Days Later at all) in order to reach the safety of New Orleans. No twists, no character development, no puzzles, no backstory. Nothing. Just a Posh-Spice-thin get-from-A-to-B plot accompanied by pure and simple shoot-em-up action.


The characters. Try as she might, Rochelle just ISN'T cool. Nor interesting.

The choice is between Tim Roth look-alike Nick, stereotypical redneck Ellis, stereotypical black guy Coach and some bland woman called Rochelle who nobody would ever choose to play as willingly. There are five new settings on offer such as a creepy disused theme park and a stormy sugar mill with a frightening amount of Witches roaming it. My personal favourite is the cliché ridden Dead Center, which involves a shopping mall and a celebrity supercar.
Other new features include melee weapons (belting an enemy over the head with a frying pan makes one of the most oh-so satisfying sound effects known to man), a larger choice of guns, and a handful of new Infected. The Spitter is a disgusting creature that looks like Britney Spears during her meltdown, the Charger looks like a bloke who’s been too busy with himself during his private time, and the Jockey gives me the impression of Quasimodo after too many cans of Monster Ripper. So in other words, they fit in just fine with the existing beasties.


Eww. Just. Eww.

Because I loved playing this game so much both alone and with friends online, I thought I’d treat myself to the first Left 4 Dead and after doing so, I came to realise that despite all these little changes and additions, there’s hardly any difference at all. L4D2 just feels like an expansion pack to the original that may as well have been a downloadable add-on. While I welcome the new bits and the feel that the campaigns all have a relation to each other, it just feels like a case of same-old. Is that really a bad thing though? In some instances…not really.
I’m a huge fan of the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney series on the Nintendo DS, and those who share my love for the courtroom capers will agree that there is almost no change between the three games (I don’t count Apollo Justice, he was rubbish), but thanks to the wonderful stories, hilarious script and lovable characters, that didn’t matter. In Left 4 Dead 2’s case, the co-op, replayable value and the sheer adrenaline rush you get on every single play are its redeeming qualities. Additional content also looks to be on the horizon too, which I have to admit I'm looking forward to..
The game itself isn’t that difficult to play; very similar to the one other FPS I’ve played, Unreal Tournament III. Controls can be modified to anything you like so it can cater to all kinds of people, the graphics run smoothly (and look wonderful I have to say) even on a regular computer, the large number of achievements are fun to try completing and for the most part the online play works fine… unless you find yourself on a server so far away every command takes about 3 seconds to register. A search system for closer servers would have been more helpful to players not used to online play, but no matter. Just create your own and let others come to you.
So I suppose the big question that needs answering is whether Left 4 Dead 2 is a good game or not. It all depends on your own personal taste. If you liked the first game I definitely recommend it. If you want an epic story with deep characters, this isn’t for you at all. If you’re one of those COD fans who can’t go 10 minutes in a game without craving the need to kill, buy it now. Or if you simply wish to try something that you wouldn’t normally play, give it a go like I did. You may be pleasantly surprised.
For the sheer fun and addictive quality of this game, mixed with a couple of fun characters to play (can you guess which couple I mean?), I award it an 8.5/10.